Monday, November 4, 2013

Mas Hendro Mau Kemana ?




First of all, let me say that this post is nothing about how desperate I am for some junior to ask me “mas hendro mau kemana ?” . trust me, if I someday in the future I make that kind of post, I might as well be dead at the moment.

About my future is what it is.

f the question being asked is “ Mas Hendro mau kemana ? ” then if it goes to what I want then the answer is perfectly clear. Artdicted Studio. My genius-precious-handsome creative studio. That’s where I want to go. That’s what I want to do. That’s the future I choose to have.

But then, it’s just what I want. And I can’t possibly living just under the term of what I want. There are thousands of factors that need to be added. Factors that make me feel that it’s not currently possible to do as I want.

So then I asked again to myself, “ Mas Hendro mau kemana ? “

Yeah, being graduated is never mean you have what it takes to face the real world. The cruel world where most of people think about themselves. The cruel world where dreams are killed and Passions are prohibited. The cruel world, where you mostly can’t get what you want.

Being graduated to me means, I’m in trouble !
I can no longer live freely as I want. I can no longer just live under my parents funding. I have responsibilities now. And it’s not just to study. Now, I have to make my own living but I also need to pursue my dreams. You see ? I’m using the word “But”, that means those two choices happen to be on a different paths. So then it leaves me with questions,

Mas Hendro Mau Kemana ?
Being with Artdicted Studio is the path for me to pursue my dreams. But as of the moments, Artdicted Studio has not grown enough to help me make my own living. As to make my own living, I need to work somewhere else, which means I have to leave my dreams for quite a long time and possibly forever if then I’m stuck with my Job or with the situations where I’m no longer the only one to be taken care of, because there is also my family.

See how complicated that last sentence is ? That’s nothing compared to the situations in my head.

I always hated people who live only to make a living. You know, stuck with their Job, waking up at 5 AM to prepare themselves for their lame Job they hated but have to do for eight to nine hours before they can get home at 5 PM and stuck in the same traffic and chaos as they already had in the morning when they go to work, everyday. Well now, I’m faced with the same possibilities, and I’m afraid I will fall for it.

People afraid of snakes, dark, or ghosts, and I’m afraid of being Corporate Junkie.

I want to be able to live as I want everyday and make a living from it. I want to be able to wake up at different time everyday, making film or music when it pleases me, design some stuffs, posters or buildings as I believe is good. Go to Venice, Raja Ampat, Gobi Desert or God knows where when I’m bored with all of my works.  I want to help people who are marginalized , I want to help those kids I see asking for moneys at the crossroads everyday, I want to make this world better, Influence people with messages I send trough my works. But most of all, I want to always be me. I want to wake up every morning and still remember what I want. To still remember what I am and who I am, every time I look myself at the mirror.

If there is a way to have everything as I mentioned, That will be the answer of, Mas Hendro Mau Kemana ?